If you have ever taken part in a workshop or perhaps even training at work you will be familiar with ice breaker sessions where you have to stand up and introduce yourself to the rest of the participants.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Love it or loathe it, I use this idea as an exercise to kick-start proceedings in my own writing workshops. I introduce myself first and I generally use that time to outline some of my writing. I then invite everyone to write down what they want to say about themselves giving them 100 words to play with. We then go around the room and generally find out why people have chosen to attend a Memoir Writing workshop \u2013 and the reasons vary enormously. Sounds straightforward enough I hear you say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After people have shared their introduction \u2013 we then come back to my earlier \u2013 resume-style introduction \u2013 and I then explain why I introduced myself in such a sterile manner. The reasons are simple enough \u2013 I want to reassure the audience they are in safe hands, I\u2019m qualified in what I do, I have the necessary experience and I can help them write their story too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But do they really know me? Do they know my story (or stories)? Well of course the answer is no. They know about the one and only story I have presented to them \u2013 and at that early stage in our workshop that seems to suffice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I then go on to share around 4 or 5 more \u2018introductions\u2019 that I could <\/em>have presented, each more emotive, personal and layered than the last. It\u2019s in the sharing of these alternative \u2018stories\u2019 that we as a group \u2018connect\u2019 \u2013 because these are the \u2018real\u2019 stories that are often buried or ignored in the quest to present a more \u2018together\u2019 and polished version of ourselves. It doesn\u2019t mean the original story\/introduction doesn\u2019t exist \u2013 but it exists in addition to the others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Aside from the lesson in Memoir writing (being brave, raw and honest because these experiences connect us all), this exercise simply and effectively demonstrates how we can frame \u2013 and reframe \u2013 the narrative of our own stories. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If you have suffered trauma or injustice in your life, it can feel like you ARE that story \u2013 you ARE that \u2018abused partner\u2019. You ARE that \u2018beaten child\u2019 or you ARE that \u2018rape victim\u2019 or you are that nurse that couldn\u2019t heal the person you desperately wanted to heal most.\u00a0Sometimes, without even realising it, we absorb the energy of that trauma, and we\u00a0become\u00a0<\/em>that story. If we are abused we\u00a0become<\/em> the\u00a0shame and the unworthiness. If we are a mother or nurse or doctor, then we should be able to heal. If we don\u2019t \u2013 then we can absorb and\u00a0become<\/em>\u00a0\u2018failure\u2019.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Similarly, if you have had an abusive partner or parent who constantly repeats the same \u2018story\u2019 \u2013 telling you over and over again how useless you are, or how stupid you are \u2013 all you will hear is how unloveable you are and that is the one and only story you will tell yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One of the first steps to healing \u2013 and rewriting your story \u2013 is to realise you are not the sum total of that one story. You are so much more than one story. You are not the problem. The emotion attached to that external problem that happened outside of you is the problem. You \u2013 the human being \u2013 are not the problem. Neither is your story \u2013 or that part of you \u2013 something to run away from and disown. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Do you have a story you keep repeating to yourself about yourself? What story do you tell others about yourself? Does that story differ when it comes to relating to friends or strangers? <\/p>\n\n\n\n We all have more than one story. Sometimes we get caught up in \u2018our old story\u2019 to the point we believe it, we live it and we forget or just don\u2019t see our other magnificent and triumphant stories running alongside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Perhaps if your mother was absent emotionally you could change your story from one of abandonment and rejection \u2013 to one of \u2018resilience\u2019 and \u2018compassion\u2019 \u2013 the tools you learned as a result of that thing that happened outside of yourself (that thing that isn\u2019t you the human being).<\/p>\n\n\n\n So as a healer you couldn\u2019t help that one person, but look at all the others you helped \u2013 let that be another story \u2013 your story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is the beauty of combining healing with writing \u2013 you can literally and figuratively rewrite your story \u2013 and it\u2019s not a work of fiction \u2013 the story is there \u2013 you just need to know where to look \u2013 or to have someone on your team skilled enough to help you identify it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you are interested in taking part in my \u2018What\u2019s your Story?\u2019 workshops which include Memoir Writing and\u00a0 \u2018Giving Trauma A Voice Through Writing\u2019 do drop me a line so I can ensure you are notified as soon as dates\/venues are available.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"